...puh!
It was the best day ever!
Nobody knew about it at school except two or three people.
And I still got two slices of chocolate cake! No, three!
We didn't get into TGIF's, but we went for SUSHI.
Hot waiter? I was already full the moment I went in.
The biggest and fullest and yellowest moon I have laid my eyes on...
was the most beautiful thing ever.
We went by a cliff and made a stop.
I screamed my lungs out.
I have no idea what that was for but it felt awesome.
AND YET...
I feel like I died.
Empty. Soulless. Numb.
I wanna be mad, but I can't.
I wanna cry, but I can't.
I wanna go crazy, but I can't.
It's like my life flashed before my eyes.
Like, my future just arranged itself.
And I don't like it. I don't want it.
MY FUCKING GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EMO THIS SHIT IS!
AND I FUCKING HATE EMO!
FUCK THE PEOPLE WHO FUCKING INVENTED EMO!
I'm already crazy.
I'm so retarded.
I'm so weird.
I'm so imaginative that I actually believe in things I'm not supposed to.
I'm so pathetic that I actually think something magical is gonna happen.
I'm such a loser that I wanna leave this life right now...
...for another.
FUCK IT, SEE?!
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY THINKING THESE THINGS!
At the same time, I'm normal.
I want to fit in.
I want friends.
I want a crush.
I love my family.
It's prolly too evil to want to leave family.
And I shouldn't want this, but I do.
Give me it, and I'll face whatever the shit, and the only thing I ask in return is keep my family safe.
GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!
